If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
