Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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