I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
