everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
