i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
