It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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