There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
