What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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