We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
