tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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