If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
