READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
