she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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