Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
