i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
