i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
