So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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