My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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