He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
