Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Randomize
