bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
