I wannas sexs uuuuu
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
what the fuck happened to the tacos
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
