WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
