Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
