Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
