And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
