He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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