I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
