there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
