My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
