i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
