Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Four minutes until I can fart!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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