Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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