i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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