the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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