Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
