Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
