No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
