Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
