i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
