Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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