I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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