We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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