if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
