I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
