I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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