Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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