I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
