he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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