Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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