I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
