You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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