Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
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